The Mary Parish Center for Victims of Domestic Violence

Offers transitional housing and/ or shelter for women and children who are victims of domestic violence. Also offers assistance with legal representation, case managment, transportation, job placement, information and transportation to GED classes.

615- 256- 5959

Dating Violence: Power & Control Wheel

Types of Abusive Men

“Why Does He Do That?”

Lundy Bancroft

The Types of Abusive Men

Chapter 4

“The qualities that make up an abusive man are like the ingredients in a recipe: The basics are always present, but the relative amounts vary greatly.”

“The sections below describe each style of man while he is being abusive.”

Domestic Violence Book Resources

Domestic Violence Book Resource List

1)    “Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft

2)    “Getting Free” by Ginny Nicarthy

3)    “It’s my life now…starting over after an abusive relationship or domestic violence.” By: Meg Kennedy Dugan, M.A. & Roger R. Hock. PhD

4)    “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” by Patricia Evans

5)     “Living with a Passive-Aggressive Man” by Scott Wetzler

6)    “Betrayal Bond - Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships” by Patrick Carnes

7)    “The Dance of Anger - A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships” by Harriet Learner

8)    “Addictive Relationships - Reclaiming Your Boundaries” by Joy Miller

9)    “Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them - When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why” by Susan Forward

10)  “The Emotionally Abusive Relationship” by Beverly Engel

11)  “Breath, Eyes, Memory” by Edwich Danticat

12) “Not to People Like Us” (hidden abuse in upscale marriages) by Dr. Susan Weitzman

Personalized Safety Plan

Personalized Safety Plan

Checklist

What you need to take when you leave:

Profile of a Batterer

Types:

· Explosive Temper: Abusers have limited tolerance for frustration, they get mad at anything regardless of how little or significant it is. They may begin to throw things or punch walls, etc.

· Low Self-Esteem: They may feel that they have not met their ideal goals for themselves. They may be disappointed with their job or feel inadequate.

· Blames Others: Abusers are unable to take responsibility for their behaviors and feelings. Common statements are: "You made me mad"; "You made me do that"; and "You make me happy." The message is "You control how I feel." Nothing is ever the abuser's fault and everything that happens to them is their partner's fault. Somebody is always "out to get them."

· Manipulative/Deceitful: The abuser may start off as charming or a gentleman, but then turn hurtful and violent. Everyone likes him/her and can't believe that s/he can hurt anyone.

TN Domestic Violence Programs & Shelters

Domestic Violence Program & Shelter List in Tennessee

________________________________________________________________

Tennessee Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 356-6767

Tennessee Coaltion to End Domestic & Sexual Violence

2 International Plaza Drive, Suite 425

Nashville, TN  37217

Office: (615) 386-9406

http://tncoalition.org/

STARS

STARS (Students Taking A Right Stand):  (615) 279-0058

·         Youth Opportunity Center

·         “STARS exists to serve schools and communities by providing prevention, intervention, and treatment services addressing bullying, substance abuse, violence, and social and emotional barriers to success.”

·         Programs:

·         Student Assistance Program (SAP) - comprehensive

·         Kids on the Block – educational program for kids (puppets)

·         Services for Students Who Are Deaf or Hard of Hearing – teach about drug/alcohol/tobacco abuse & avoidance

·         Classes

·         Family work

·         After-school

·         Camps

·         College trips

·         PARTNERS, Inc.

·         Social Emotional Learning

·         Conflict Resolution

·         Community Building

·         Diversity

·         Youth Overcoming Drug Abuse (YODA)

·         ages 13-22

·         Provides: case management, intensive outpatient groups and individual counseling services for uninsured youth with substance abuse problems and their families

·         Substance abuse AND

·         uninsured/have exhausted their insurance benefits for treatment

·         may be in DCS custody

·         may be juvenile probationers

·         have been court ordered to complete IOP treatment or assessment

·         Bullying Prevention & Trainings Teaching Kids To Dream, Inc.: NO LONGER IN SERVICE… Youth Encouragement Services (YES):  (615) 315-5333521 McIver Street, Nashville, TN  37211

·         3 youth centers

·         St. Luke’s

·         McIver

·         Lindsley

·         Educational and recreational programs

·         Spiritual Development

·         Tutoring & Homework Assistance

·         Summer Bible Camp

·         Physical Development

·         Arts/Cultural Enrichment

·         Christmas Store

·         Honor Roll Trip

·         Computer Learning

·         Community Awareness/Service Projects

·         Field Trips

·         Job Skills Training

·         Youth Awareness

·         College Scholarships

·         Various other activities (cooking, arts & crafts, rock-climbing, gardening, photography, wood carving…)

·         After-school hours, weekends, summer break

·         Ages 6-18

·         Keep kids off the street, giving them a safe place to go where they can engage in social, educational, and cultural activities